It’s a new year, a fresh start. Have fun! I think tomorrow is the latest day school starts for some, so I thought I’d highlight some of the lies you tell yourself
1. I am a superior upper class man.
Truth: I might still eat in the dining hall.
2. These poor freshmen don’t know where they’re going.
Truth: I still don’t know where that building is.
3. I’m gonna party like the bad bitch that I am.
Truth: It’s syllabus week and I already have 5 chapters to read.
4. I could totally hook up with a TA now that I’m older…
Truth: This guy looks like he could be in a Rogaine commercial.
5. I’m going to look nice for class this year.
Truth: I wore this yesterday but no one important saw.
6. I’m gonna start working out this semester. I have enough yoga pants.
Truth: Couch Aerobics.
7. All of my Professors will know my name. I’m going to office hours.
Truth: Didn’t even make it to lecture.
8. I’m going to be as productive as possible.
Truth: I’m making the most out of my Netflix subscription.
9. I’m going to make friends in my discussion.
10. I’m going to be classy at tailgate and make it to the actual football game.
On a serious note:
- Be safe
- Make smart choices
- Study hard
- Eat something other than noodles
- Go outside
- Be friendly
- Have fun
- AND LEARN SOMETHING. Lord knows you’re paying enough money…