It’s a new year, a fresh start. Have fun! I think tomorrow is the latest day school starts for some, so I thought I’d highlight some of the lies you tell yourself
1. I am a superior upper class man.
Truth: I might still eat in the dining hall.
2. These poor freshmen don’t know where they’re going.
Truth: I still don’t know where that building is.
3. I’m gonna party like the bad bitch that I am.
Truth: It’s syllabus week and I already have 5 chapters to read.
4. I could totally hook up with a TA now that I’m older…
Truth: This guy looks like he could be in a Rogaine commercial.
5. I’m going to look nice for class this year.
Truth: I wore this yesterday but no one important saw.
6. I’m gonna start working out this semester. I have enough yoga pants.
Truth: Couch Aerobics.
7. All of my Professors will know my name. I’m going to office hours.
Truth: Didn’t even make it to lecture.
8. I’m going to be as productive as possible.
Truth: I’m making the most out of my Netflix subscription.
9. I’m going to make friends in my discussion.
Truth: Nope.
10. I’m going to be classy at tailgate and make it to the actual football game.
truht; hahahajahaha
On a serious note:
- Be safe
- Make smart choices
- Study hard
- Eat something other than noodles
- Go outside
- Be friendly
- Have fun
- AND LEARN SOMETHING. Lord knows you’re paying enough money…
